Testimonials

There may be the notion of woman should teach woman and although in many instances that rings true, I believe whole-heartedly in the principal of HeForShe. Where men take a stand and men help INpower our women, not out of a place of superiority but from a place of care and humanity.

What the WIP team offers is not about learning how to fight, it is about learning key principles that teach you a way of thinking. INpower you to think about and react for your personal safety, not from a place of paranoia but from a place of knowledge and power.

The principals I’ve learnt in this course have become so ingrained in my way of thinking in any situation. I think it is because they are principals of common sense but also years of expert experience and passion for inpowering us as woman.

Morning Mark

Thank you for Friday…. Yes there was laughter and a few jokes but definitely also the seriousness of what could happen to me as a female. The session made me realise that I do have a choice should I find myself in such a situation. It opened my eyes to the what if….what if I did not attend this session and how I will react knowing what I know now.

Hi Mark and Derek,

Thank you so much for the opportunity to attend the session. I found it to be very informative, INpowering and strange enough, relaxing. Listening to you explain the various ways in which we as women are able to empower ourselves and divert from the victim mentality made me regret that I have not known this sooner. I have accepted what society has dictated all these years, that we are weak and forced into a subordinate position compared to men.

I thank you, and that piece of wood, for where I am now.

But more importantly for me was the INpowerement I felt when I smashed through the wood – we own a large, successful family business and we have our 3 sons working with us.   The family dynamics has been terrible, to the degree that two years ago I started counselling, and you will never believe me, – it was all due to the way my eldest son of 45 was emotionally abusing me at work. I would often sit with my head in my hands and sob – me – the Financial Director of the Company!

When I smashed my fist through that piece of wood – I never saw you standing there – I saw my son and I don’t mean this in a nasty way – I believe I smashed satan off his shoulder. I called him into my office this morning and said : “Other than give you life, – what have I done to deserve the emotional abuse you have dealt me for the past two years”. I couldn’t see him clearly as my eyes were filled with tears – he came up to me, put his arms around me and said,  “Mom, I am truly sorry for hurting you”. I left it right there – no more questions. 

• Fear of failure,
• Fear of Success,
• Fear to Trust,
• Fear to Love,
• Fear to Believe,
• Fear to let GO

And the list can go on

Hi Mark,

Thanks again for such a wonderful and fun time spent at Canterbury Prep. It was really very informative.  Just sitting listening to you talk about the different choices and reactions, brought some points to mind. Almost 6 years ago, my husband was killed in a road rage incident. He was the motor cyclist that was shot and killed on Malabongwe Dr on Valentines Day. Long story short, if he had made a different choice, maybe my daughter and I wouldn’t be in the position we are today. But unfortunately my late husband was a person that thought he was bigger and stronger then the world and picked on the wrong person that day. I wrote road rage on my board that I broke, not because I’m angry, but because it’s such a senseless crime that can so easily be avoided by just making a better choice. 

Unfortunately, with our justice system. The trial was only wrapped up last year, and the accused got off. Not that it would have changed a thing in Nicole’s or my life.

Its something Nicole and I have to live with everyday, and we’ve actually come a long way and are able to put it behind us and move on. It’s been a very hard road to travel. Nicole was 4 years old at the time. 

Just wanted to share my story with you and Derek and Thank you both very much for the wonderful afternoon and making me feel so INpowered to be able to break that board and kick the last little bit of road rage that was left in me! 

Best wishes Tammy

Its taken too long after my completion of WIP to write this…. I had the absolute honour of not just meeting Alison Botha (The survivor of a brutal attack in 1994 ) , but gain knowledge and technique to defend my life.I have been on “self defence courses”, and can’t remember a single thing about them. Forgotten a few days after. Mark Grobbelaar and his teaching will stay with me forever, a powerful and effective way to gather thoughts in singular moments that matter, and then that breakthrough…I encourage my friends and family to participate in this life changing life saving knowledge share… hopefully we never need to use it, and if we do I know I can do only so much but can think much much more before I need to DO.

Thank you Woman Inpowered!

….Melissa

Dear Mark & Derek,

It has been a year since we attended your workshop in Port Elizabeth, and I don’t think you could ever know what an impact it had on me and my daughter (and the two tweenies who attended with us).  While we have had much to heal from, picking up the pieces of our lives after a violent crime, we both, in our own way, carried the scars.  And yes, you put the incident behind you and you move on with your life, because you have to, but somewhere, deep down, you always feel as if you have lost your power.  You live in fear – and while that fear isn’t always visible, it always bubbles beneath the surface and presents itself in the form of anxiety, paranoia, OCD-like behaviour… All in an attempt to have control over something.  And you bleed on people who didn’t cut you, as the saying goes.

11 August 2018 was the date.  And so much has changed since then.  Thanks to you, we walked out of that workshop feeling in control.  Somehow, every single part of this workshop resonated, and it changed the way we view the world around us.  No amount of therapy could have given us what we took away on that day from WIP.  And both Lee and I have used what we learnt that day, to help and educate others.

And here is the reason for my email:  Over 100,000 women from all over South Africa have joined hands on a FB group called SA Women Fight Back.  So many companies have come forward to offer assistance in some form or another, and one of them is offering nationwide discounts on a course in Krav Maga.  One day.  And that got me thinking to what you said in our workshop.  Self-defence courses are all good, but… you know the drill.

Please please please can you guys do another workshop?  One like you did in PE? Do it nationwide and help these ladies understand – id you look at the story of Lindi-Mae Humphries – and I wondered whether she attended the workshop with us on 11 August 2018 – because read what she says about getting out, getting away and not allowing them to take her somewhere else.  It likely saved her life.  More women need to hear this.  And the way you guys present, is perfect – for all ages. 

Meanwhile, I am forever grateful for the day I attended.  It made a huge difference!

Warm regards,

Lise

Good Afternoon Mark

I attended your INpowered workshop last week Thursday. I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed it and share a little bit about how I feel after the workshop. Before the workshop I was very down, very self conscious, self doubting, anxious person. This was due to a bad relationship I have recently got out of (explained later). I was also very jumpy, nervous to go out, didn’t like people giving me surprises or coming up to me too quickly due to a mugging from some years ago (also to be explained). 

I’ll start with the bad relationship as it is the most recent. About 4 months ago I got out of a emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. I was always one of those girls who said oh that will never happen to me, I will be able to spot a bad guy before a relationship starts. But here I sit. He would always put me down, tell me I wasn’t good enough, my ideas were stupid, my ideas for my business were stupid. I would work my ass off at gym to look perfect for him just for him to tell me he sees no difference. He would tell me what to wear and make me very self conscious. It started to impact on my horse riding as he said he doesn’t understand it and would always undermine it. I always made excuses until I finally had enough and started to see what was going on and left the relationship. 

This didn’t mean I was happy. I still wanted to go back to him and could not understand why! He made me feel like crap everyday and there I was wanting to go back to him! It wasn’t until I really took in your lessons that I started to understand what went wrong. He would break me down, make me feel useless and then compliment me so I would think he’s a good guy and become dependent on him to feel good about myself. I realize now that it was not that my business had no potential or was a bad idea, he was threatened by a strong, accomplished women and couldn’t bare to see me doing better than him! Since the relationship ended my business has thrived! It’s taken off in ways I would never have imagined. I still feel down sometimes but when I do I watch that video of me breaking that bored and it reminds me that I am in control. I have no reason to feel guilt and shame and I am so much stronger than I believe! 

Hi Mark

I thought the program was an amazing and important experience especially in the world we live in today, and I overcame many things in that moment that I broke the board. I, and my friends, enjoyed it thoroughly and it feels great knowing that I am able to protect myself and that I have a choice. 

I would like to share with you exactly what the experience meant to me and what I broke and left behind me on that day: 

Ever since I was young my dad has been verbally and emotionally abusive towards me due to alcohol. There’ve been situations where I was only 5 years old and he’d go out drinking and take me with him because I didn’t know any better, and he’d end up passing out leaving me stranded and confused, and when I try talk to him about it he gets very defensive or he doesn’t even remember what happened. It didn’t bother me much when I was younger, but as I got older I began to realize what was going on and I started to feel the effect that his words had on me while he wasn’t sober. For example, he’d say I’m useless and worthless, but as soon as I’d try to stand up for myself he’d scold me for being too young and disrespectful. I held back from it for a while, until one holiday in 2016 when him, his close friend and I went on a road trip through Namibia. While we were there, things were alright, but the day after we got back to his friend’s house (she lived in North West on a farm) he started with his ordeal again. His friend’s two daughters were there and they were both young adults, yet he was following them around the house screaming at them and made them both cry. He was also complaining to his friend about how “horrible her daughters are” (obviously using more profound language) and was pushing her around calling her names.

So eventually I stepped in and started bossing him around like a mother; telling him what he was doing was wrong, getting food for him, etc. Long story short, he wanted to go to bed. So I put him in bed and he said he wouldn’t go to sleep without me and so I decided (wrongly) to get into bed with him. As soon as I did he began lifting my shirt and touching me, when his friend came in and let me out of the room. That night we all slept in one room with the door locked and his friend took me home the next day because I wanted to be gone before he woke up.

Since then I’ve been going to psychologists and talking to my mom, but I’d never really gotten over the situation and struggled to look at my dad in the same way. But as soon as I broke the board, it felt as though it had all been lifted. I’m now able to speak to my dad with pride and importance and stand up for myself without getting hurt, and for that I am entirely grateful

Hi Mark

A very belated thank-you for an inspirational program! I have to say that breaking a block of wood is immensely INPowering!

More to the point, your information and my subsequent reading of Alison’s book have helped me so much in my own Journey of Recovery. I was shot through the femoral artery in attempted highjacking 5 years ago. I, too, had angels and miraculous events that saved my life and my leg. After 5 days in a coma and a further week in hospital I was set loose to continue with life. I am literally in awe of Alison, what she experienced is unimaginable!

The words that spoke to me most are that feeling of being different and alone where nobody can relate to my near-death experience! It was unbelievable to see my exact feelings in print! Since the event, my life has changed so much for the better and I am a way better, happier, healthier and more relaxed person. It is such a pity that we wait for the wake-up call to appreciate life.

In my case, I chose to flee, crashed the car into a pole and was shot. I should have frozen and handed over what they wanted!

Thank you for your commitment and for making a difference in our lives!

Regards,

Dear Mark

I have sent a short article on WIP to Biddy to place in the next College newsletter. I am also showing all the girls I teach photos of what we did and encouraging them to sign up next time you are here.

I am still shocked that I broke the board. My friend saw a picture and now calls me Mrs Wood-breaker instead of Mrs Wood. The name seems to be catching on. My husband said that he had no doubt that I would break the board, but after actually seeing me do it, he is very impressed and bragging about what I did. Seeing is believing! He is often away (as he is a pilot) and he has no doubt that I will be able to make a choice and react in a potentially threatening situation. His mind is at ease. When discussing breaking the board with some lady friends at church, their first response was that they would never be able to do that. Isn’t it sad that they are not inpowered and feel helpless? WIP has not only given me the confidence to defend myself in threatening situations, but I am confident enough to embark on a new adventure with regards to my career and chose to believe in my own ability – rather than think of what I could do I am doing it!

My husband is framing my 2 pieces of broken wood with a photograph and my certificate. I think he is more proud of me than I am.

Thank you so much for your time and willingness to share with us at the College.  God bless.

From a girl at St Marys…..

It’s the girl who cried and couldn’t break the board.

I just thought i’d write to you to tell you my experiences and why I was so emotional about the whole task.

On my board you may not have seen but the words I wrote were “My Dad” . My dad is my barrier because he has caused a lot of pain for my family and I do blame myself for it. when I was 4 I was diagnosed with leukaemia (blood cancer). This was a rough time for my family and after three years I was cancer free, however when I was in grade 4 my teacher told me in front of the whole grade that I was the reason my parents got a divorce because I put so much strain on them with my cancer. I still carry that comment with me because if my parents didn’t get divorced my dad would not be how he is today.

2 and a half years ago my dad disowned me and told me he never wanted to see me again. At this point he had already disowned my older sister. He stopped us seeing our grandparents (his parents) whom we used to see every Sunday. My uncles and grandparents eventually moved to England to get away from my dad as he threatened them with many things. My brother actually spoke to them for the first time in almost four years as he still sees my dad. 

My mum is a single mum and does struggle financially and my dad keeps cutting maintenance so my mum has a lot on her shoulders and its hard watching that when there is very little you can do. 

I am constantly in fear of my dad and I have many nightmares and some mental issues as a result of what he has and is still doing. 

the reason I cried was because I wanted to break the board and be stronger than my dad but because I have so much fear I couldn’t do it the first time ,it was the feeling of not being able to break the board and not being able to overcome him. 

I think your program is amazing and I am so happy I did it and I do feel like I have accomplished something but because I could not break it the first time made me a little upset. Thank you for putting a smile o my face every LO lesson and teaching me I have a choice, not just with issues of rape but i have a choice not to let my dad hold me back so much because i can do it and I’m stronger than I thought.

Hi Mark.

When my parents told me they were getting divorced, I was devastated. I felt that my world was shattered. What made that time of my life worse, was my father’s abusiveness. It started when I was in Grade 5 and my marks dropped badly. He would come home and give me a beating without having a reason for it. I didn’t understand why because he doesn’t drink or smoke. I went for counseling until the end of last year but I stopped going because my mother didn’t want us (my sister, my mom and I) to have other people solving our problems forever. My mom and I are close and we have our differences but she’s taught me a lot about getting up and perseverance so I’ve learned to forgive my father although I still find it hard to love him and “forgive and forget” like everyone wants me to, but it is still very frustrating when I go to him on weekends because he talks to me like I don’t know anything and sometimes swears me when I make honest mistakes etc. I wrote “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” because my always tells me that and I really believe it so when I didn’t break the board the first time, I immediately felt discouraged but after Derrick reassured me, I punched the board broken and that was the moment that I really felt INpowered. WIP has changed my perspective and I feel that I am aore positive person. I also shared my experience with my mom and she too says that what WIP does is absolutely amazing. Thank you thank you for all you have done. Continue changing lives, as you’ve done with mine and I hope that only good goes your way.

Firstly, I would just like to thank you for this incredible experience. Not only did I overcome obstacles in my life, I also became more aware of women’s stories. On the day, you said we could write something on our boards that we want to overcome. As the permanent marker went around, I looked around and I saw one girl write “everything”. I admired her bravery for writing something down. Now although I didn’t write anything, before I punched the board, I thought them. I thought about the situations at home (my parents are separating and we’ve lost many loved ones these past few years) so I knew that if I could punch that board, then I could overcome anything. 

Now as we left the gym, my friend got a message saying that someone she knew in our grade passed away that morning. She was a twin and the twin was on exchange and could only find out when she landed the following day. And a while ago, a boy I was close with and who also had a twin, passed away. So why am I telling you this?

I would like you to go to DGC (the school of the girl whom passed away) and INpower our grade there, because they deserve an experience that will show them they can get through this. They need a reason to smile and above all they need that sense of community. 

 This all helped me realize everyone’s ongoing struggles and that together we can come out stronger from them.

So, thank you.

Hi Mark,

I just wanted to say thank you for such an amazing course. This has really meant so much to me for so many reasons:

In March 2010, my house was robbed in an incident where I came face to face with the intruders. Less than a month later, two guys tried to hijack me.

Luckily for me in both incidents I was able to get away, guardian angels I suppose, but I have always had that niggling fear in my head as to what would I have done had I not been able to run away. I was so scared for so long after that and felt that I had no control in terms of making sure that I was not a victim. I felt vulnerable.

After being INpowered, I know that no matter what happens I always have a choice. My power is my own and no matter what happens, no one can ever take that away from me. Your course is an absolute essential for any woman living in the world today and I plan on spreading that exact message far and wide.

Nicole

Thank you for the email with all of the information attached and for the opportunity of being able to do your course. As you had probably gathered from the many tears and emotions I have a small story to accompany my “demons” and while I haven’t shared it with many people I am ready to share it with you. It has taken quite a while for me to put this into words so please bear with me. 

At the age of 15, while on an all girls school camp, I walked into a bathroom by myself, quite a distance from the rest of the group, and unfortunately I was followed in by a guy. At the time I had managed to lock myself in the closest stall. He continued to tell me that he was going to have his way with me and described in detail what he was going to do while laughing. I could do nothing but attempt to dissuade him and stay in the stall. He started getting impatient and started hitting the door. After failing to open it he walked out of the bathroom announcing that he would be waiting outside for me. After some time I heard the group of girls returning nearby. Afterwards I was told that I had been gone for over an hour. As I did not see his face I could not identify him and he was never found. 

While I realize that I am fortunate that I did not form part of a statistic that day and that there are people out there who have experienced worse, the event had such a profound effect on me that for over 3 years I could not bring myself to use a public restroom at all. Just a few days after breaking the board, and over 8 years later, I managed to walk into a restroom in a shopping center without a friend or family member accompanying me. 

Naturally one of my greatest fears is being raped. I cannot express how grateful I am that I can take comfort in knowing that I now have an option besides submission. You have INpowered me.

Good Morning 

Thank you once again for the sponsorship.  I really appreciate it and it came at the right time for me.

This workshop was not just the usual or ordinary workshop. I speak for myself, but I’m sure the others felt the same.  It just confirmed my thoughts and feelings.

Yes, we as women can be gullible at times and we always want to be “nice” and accommodating and always second guess because we want to please people or think what would people say about us if we do the right thing .  “Act on your 6^th sense” Mark said.  How many times did I ignore that. Never again. Even regarding the mundane things of life.

I felt that Mark spoke directly to me , it was as if no one else was in that room, but only me and Mark.  We could have had a one on one conversation because in my mind I answered him every time he spoke.  Don’t get me wrong , nothing happened to me I am just referring to life experiences, my intuition etc. Hence me saying I could have stopped him at every example or hint he gave and engaged in conversation.  Thus I feel I learnt so much and I am immensely grateful that I was sponsored. So thank you to you, Tracy and Mark.

Regards

Leonie Harry

PS. People never know what it means when they shower someone with a gift or a kind gesture.